Puerto Rican Medical Disorders

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VidaEterna!
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Puerto Rican Medical Disorders

Post by VidaEterna! »

Monga:
Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be
considered fever, but
serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is
unknown by the American Medical
Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of
Puerto Rican origin.

Patatú:
Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any
time. Could be serious enough
to require hospitalization, yet is undetected by
medical technology. Victims
tend t o be males and females over the age of 50
years.

Sereno:
Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night
and is sprinkled by a
mysterious substance produced by the night air.
There are no physical symptoms
and it can only be detected by the Puerto Rican
elderly. The effect of having
this disease is unknown. Children must not be taken
out at night without proper
head gear or risk of contamination is certain.

Empache:
Digestive disorder which occurs after the
consumption of a large Puerto Rican
meal. The only known cure for this disease is "una
buena criolla" or "tirarse
un buen gas" (burp). (Alka-Seltzer is completely
ineffective).

Cuerpo Cortao:
Frequent and mild condition of unknown etymology.
Symptoms include-- but are
not limited to-- fatigue, lack of energy and chronic
whining.

Moño Parao:
Psychological imbalance of short durati on that
causes strange mood swings,
violent irritating behavior as well as general
unpleasantness.


Cocotazo:

Also referred to as the "Fuácata". A clenched
hand /closed cripple! Caused by left
or right fingers flexed to not quite make a fist
with middle finger slightly
raised higher than the rest and delivered to a
child's head with a quick snap
to the wrist (my father's favorite).

Chichón:
Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the
fall after a patatú. Can
also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter
with a cocotazo.

If you don't remember these you're not a typical
Puerto Rican!
"Ministerio .:: Vida Eterna ::. Ministries"
Las Doctrinas de la Gracia

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