Order of Birth... (very funny)

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Order of Birth... (very funny)

Post by VidaEterna! » Tue Mar 06, 2007 5:44 pm

Birth Order

  • 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
    OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
    Preparing for the Birth:

    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

    2nd baby: You don't bother because you reme mber that last time,
    breathing didn't' t do a thing.

    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month
    The Layette :

    1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them,
    and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
    discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

    3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

    1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby..

    2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake
    your firstborn.

    3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the
    mechanical swing

    1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you
    can go home and wash and boil it.

    2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
    some juice from the baby's bottle.

    3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

    1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether
    they need it or not.
    2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

    3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
    complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

    1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
    and Baby Story Hour.

    2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

    3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
    _________________________________________________ _____
    Going Out:

    1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
    home five times.

    2nd baby:
    Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave
    a number where you can be reached.

    3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
    sees blood.
    At Home:

    1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

    2nd baby:
    You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
    child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
    3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
    Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

    1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
    hospital and demand x-rays.

    2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch
    for the coin to pass.

    3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

    Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . .
    or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children . .
    (The older the mother, the funnier this is!)


    God's reward for allowing you r children to live!
"Ministerio .:: Vida Eterna ::. Ministries"
Las Doctrinas de la Gracia


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